It might be difficult for non-Chinese people to imagine or understand this situation, but this is the reality we face." "But then you have to have permission from the state. "To have a child is really a personal right, is a human right," Xu argues. But, Xu points out, it's still up to the government to decide just who can have them. It's an admission that China's society is aging, the labor pool is shrinking and the country needs more babies. They lost.Īnd in January, for the first time in 35 years, Chinese citizens were allowed to have two children, instead of just one. "People who were born in '80s, or after '80s, who grew up in this more open society towards gay people and who are now around 30 years old and have steady jobs and relationships, there's a huge need of having babies of their own," Xu says.įor the first time last month, a gay couple in southern Hunan province sued the government for the right to marry. And in recent years, Xu adds, the growth of the Internet and civil society has changed attitudes and created more space for gay and lesbian couples in China.
They don't want their children discriminated against or disadvantaged in the competition for homes, jobs and other resources and services because they are part of a minority group.Ĭhina's medical establishment declassified homosexuality as a mental illness in 2001. Parents' concerns, Wu argues, are mostly practical.
What Chinese are afraid of is being different."
"Our parents' generation thinks that homosexuality is a kind of sickness or something fearful," says Wu. Xu notes that in pre-communist days, before 1949, China's traditional society and religions were relatively tolerant of homosexuality. "If you get accepted by your parents, basically you solve most of your problems of being gay in China," says Xu Bin, the founder of Common Language, a Beijing-based LGBT rights group. It's a compromise or a precondition we must meet for them to accept our lifestyle." "They think it's OK for us to choose this homosexual lifestyle," Cai says. That's not surprising, as elderly Chinese rely on children and grandchildren to take care of them. As it turns out, they cared less about the marriage than the children. "What we wanted was a straightforward attitude and equality of service," Cai says, "somewhere where we didn't have to explain everything or be met with discriminatory, judgmental looks."Ĭai and Wu may face obstacles further down the road, when they try to register their children for school or government ID cards.īut they've already resolved one big issue: winning the support of their parents. Such alternatives to state-run hospitals have only sprung up in Beijing in the past couple of decades. To have families, they often resort to fake marriages and black market services, which are fraught with moral, financial and health risks.Ĭai and Wu chose to give birth at a private hospital in Beijing, which respected their privacy. They could afford to study in Britain and get reproductive services in the U.S. "Although you're a lesbian couple, it should be as strong as the other couples."Ĭai and Wu were comparatively lucky. "You have to be very confident about your partnership," she adds. "You've got to believe that you will make your dream come true, like making a baby," says Cai, reflecting on what was for her a personal victory against the odds. Cai's mother is changing the babies' diapers and getting them to bed. On a visit to Cai and Wu's apartment, the couple and their parents are cleaning up after dinner. Only heterosexual, married couples are allowed to have children and, if needed, get access to reproductive services such as surrogacy. However, same-sex couples are not allowed to marry in China, where policies and laws still favor traditional families. The birth is seen as a sort of milestone in China, which has become a more tolerant place for gay couples over the past nearly four decades. The lesbian couple is one of the first in China known to have used this form of surrogacy. sperm bank, had them put in her womb at a clinic in Portland, Ore., then returned to China to give birth. It wasn't simple.Ĭai took two eggs from Wu, added sperm from a U.S. 20160512_me_undaunted_by_chinas_rulebook_lesbian_couple_has_twins_via_surrogacy.mp3Ĭhinese women Rui Cai and Cleo Wu gave birth to twins last month, following a successful in vitro fertilization.
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